January 2012
2 posts
December 2011
1 post
November 2011
3 posts
I did not just answer an ad to be in a food fight...
love you craigslist.
October 2011
4 posts
three words.
perrier. gravity. bong.
i’ve either hit a new high, or a new low. i can’t tell?
2 tags
almostfameless:
Click ‘Read More’ if you’d like to find out what happens when this pervy little French guy gets a look at her good big bum. I can’t in good conscience present this without warning.
Read More
oh man ha ha ha.
August 2011
2 posts
“I love your earrings! You couldn’t pay me to wear them!”
– some girl actually said this to me a couple weekends ago.
1 tag
Reblog if you have a fantastic vagina.
theboobsmilk:
throwinshade:
yes girl.
somebody once told me that mine was “absurd.” not a bad thing.
July 2011
2 posts
May 2011
2 posts
February 2011
1 post
“PLUS dorky guys are easier to manipulate in bed.”
– this is going to become a twitter spam/porn bot quote blog.
January 2010
1 post
“you seem to have some experience!What else could be scary? Maybe counting your...”
– another twitter spam-bot strikes again!
November 2009
3 posts
cohabitation ahoy, mates ;)
*in the midst of a discussion about conserving energy*
the duder: i've noticed that you use a lot of toilet paper.
me: i have a vagina. it needs wiping.
the duder: ha ha ooookay.
“you’re like a spank rock song. hang that shit on your wall…coming...”
– a lively fellow
Funny! Ew! Not safe for life!
ok, so i had just gotten a text from a friend of mine about, uhhh, fanny sex. i was offering up advice, and stuff, but i accidentally texted the wrong person OF COURSE.
me: cool, he sounds like a nice guy. i hope that things work out with him. hmm that's the thing with anal. you need to go slow, and use a ton of lube.
my friend: haha i am so confused. what guy are you talking about?
August 2009
4 posts
“This will work on your abs as quick as viagra works on an old pervert’s...”
– some twitter spam-bot on some ab exercise/slimming scam :(
“I haven’t had sex in eight months. To be honest, I now prefer to go bowling.”
– Lil kim (via badass-senorita)
“you make scifi sexy.”
– vanished?
“so why you so crazy?”
– anonymous.
July 2009
10 posts
“I count three - maybe four genuine looking smiles outta 45 head shots. Not that...”
– some dude that friended me on facebook gives me his input some pictures i took of myself. zing! :/
“Sheesh Im a little nervous but here goes I love taking pics bubble baths but...”
– some twitter porn bot named “bouncinww6.” SHEESH.
“Hey you i enjoy movies foreign films did i mention dating myspace guys c what...”
– another porn bot on twitter! this one is called “playfoxee9.”
“If by chance you can’t afford LSD, then buy a color TV.”
– 2 or 3 Things I Know About Her (via youmightfindyourself)
“Hey you i like pizza chinese food oh and I forget to mention sushi my personal...”
– this was the bio of some random porn-bot that’s following me on twitter. amazing.
Some Guy Messaged Me On MySpace....
abeautifulrstory:
” Love what’s shakin?How R you?What’s ur name?I was checkin you out and SHIT!!! you tearin it up out there….lol. ya swag is BANANAS!!! neway i’m Manny,Fresh Money or whateva … I stay in L.I n all that….but if you get a chance come holla at me I wanna chop it up wit you n all that,if that’s cool wit you of course…..Neway Lataz Love …be good n all that…FlyBoy”
….. what?!
ha...
“And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think...”
– -Khalid Housseini
The Kite Runner
(via olgaandhelgarant)
“ha ha. i wouldn’t talk to you if you were bad crazy.”
June 2009
18 posts
“damn. then why you makin’ checks you can’t cash?”
– one of my favorite texting pals.
Caught Making Love to a Sock!
what? ok so it’s really not a crazy quote or anything, but you have to check out tragicsex.com. i found out about this gem of a site by (get this) a bumper sticker that somebody had lovingly affixed to a toll booth in new jersey. it’s a good thing that i’m overly observant, yeah?
“u got nasty fat legs.”
– i decided to use one of those anonymous comment apps on myspace, and that was a gem that somebody left in it. pretty sure i know who it was :)
love, recession style.
girl #1: are you into him?
girl #2: no, but if he buys us drinks i will be.
so instead of referring to people as "some guy",...
also, i need to learn how to spell :)
“Hi there….. So the evil is busy??????????? or became an angel?????? where...”
– this was when someone was trying to creep me out via email. didn’t work.
“i’m on the other end of the spectrum in regards to human emotion.”
– anonomys
Exactly like a scene out of "Sling Blade."
Little girl that I used to nanny: I like the way that you talk.
Me: Well, I like the way that YOU talk.
“you need some colorful coca cola to take your socks off.”
– a would be suitor?
“i can tell that you’re a leo because you’re self absorbed and...”
– this lady from college numero uno. she had the biggest smile on her face :(
That's Baaaad.
This one guy: you're tall.
Me: yep.
This one guy: that's baaaad.